Have you seen those memes that say something to the affect of “When you’re pregnant, shaving your legs is an Olympic Sport”? I always thought that meme was funny. Maybe even clever.
But now that I’m three and a half weeks from my due date, I’m not finding it so humorous. 😉 Forget shaving… I can barely handle putting on my pants. Between Kaitlyn practicing future ballet moves and digging her chubby toes into my ribcage, the sciatica that’s sending intense pain down my lower back and legs, the exhaustion and breathlessness of anemia, and the ginormous belly? I can’t bend or get comfortable or walk. I’m at the point that I have to sit down to just put on my makeup, because I don’t have the energy to stand. I have to sit down to prepare dinner. I have to sit down to put on my shoes.
I even have to sit down to eat chocolate if I want to enjoy it!
I do have this really awesome, penguin waddle going on though. It’s totally sexy. I feel like a confident, watermelon-toting Victoria’s Secret model marching down the runway. Nate seriously can’t take his eyes off me… (Although I have my suspicions that he’s sympathetically grimacing in pain while he watches me hobble by. My belly looks as heavy as it feels these days. I’ve officially passed the cute stage… left behind the watermelon smuggler phase… and now I’m entering blimp territory).
I don’t even know how it’s possible that the 9 months aren’t up yet. This third trimester really has been never-ending.
However, during this time, I’ve also mastered the art of kicking things into the air and catching them, which is quite impressive. Bending down to pick things up is SO two months ago. Even Brady is in awe of my mad reflexes. I’m thinking of submitting a tape of myself and applying for America Ninja Warrior. (I’ll bet being a mom has prepared me for most of the obstacles. As for the warped wall, all they need to do is put a cup of iced coffee at the top, and – let me tell you – I’d make it up there in record speed. Not even sure if my sneakers would need to touch the ground to get me up there…).
In all seriousness though, this pregnancy has been completely different than my pregnancy with Brady. I was so energized and active during that third trimester. Of course, in between the energized activity, I did have time to nap and rest. That doesn’t happen these days… This time around, things have been much harder, because I’m constantly chasing after an ever-energetic little tyke. (I feel like I’m even chasing him during the moments that I’m sitting down to pee. I don’t know how that’s humanly possible, but – trust me – I do it. Bathroom breaks are seriously no longer breaks… It’s like trying to relieve yourself while being locked in a restroom with a wild monkey).
Thanks to the added exhaustion and physical exertion, my body doesn’t seem to want to cooperate, resulting in more uncomfortable and painful pregnancy symptoms than last time. And most times, my strong-willed toddler cooperates just as well. 😉 His favorite words right now are “in five minutes, Mama” or “no thanks.”
The more I reply with “No, Mama, needs you to listen now,” the more he seems to retreat into his little toddler world of Mickey Mouse, icecream, bubbles, and puppies. Seriously, men get a bad rap for selective hearing, but toddlers have turned that into an art. They really do live in their own little world! I say “green beans,” and he hears “icecream”. I say “time to change your bum,” and he hears “time to dump out all the blocks and play.” I say “time to put your coat on,” and he hears “let’s dance”.
It’s a good thing that he’s cute, lovable, absolutely hilarious, and my entire world. Because he’d be in trouble otherwise. But, you know, despite the insanity, I just can’t imagine my long, exhausting days without him! And he really is SUCH a good little boy. He’s just, well, a toddler. We’ve all had to go through that stage and drive our mothers a little crazy. It’s like a requirement for growing up…
But yes, three and a half weeks. That’s it. That’s all that’s standing between me and meeting my precious baby girl. And then, this will ALL be worth it… right down to the hairy legs, swollen feet, and out-of-control hormones.
For now, I’m going to do my best to see the humor. To focus on our beautiful prize. To be the best preggo mom that I can possibly be. And to practice that sexy penguin waddle. After putting in all this effort to learn it, I don’t want to forget how to do it just because I’m not pregnant anymore! 😉
Pregnancy is SUCH a blessing… but it’s also a tough – often uncomfortable – journey. Do you have a funny pregnancy story to share?