A Treasure Worth Fighting For (Part 3 of 3)

Check out Part 1 and Part 2 if you missed them… ¬†ūüôā

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Despite the humor and sweet moments of parenthood, there are patches that are really¬†tough. ¬†I think the lack of sleep and personal time doesn’t help matters any. ¬†We’re only human after all, and each of us has a breaking point.

During those long days, it can be hard to see the big picture.  To remember that being a mom is precious and that moments with our little ones are all too fleeting.  Because right here and now, hours feel long.  Patience is running low.  Anxiety levels are flaring.  And exhaustion is taking its toll on your body.

Everything hurts, including your feelings.

You’ve cleaned up poop and pee, dealt with tantrums, utilized the time-out chair, and wiped down toddler-science-experiments-gone-wrong one too many times.

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There was one moment in particular – a couple of weeks ago – that I just wondered how we were going to get through this. ¬†Like, was I really cut out to be a mom to two littles? ¬†The house looked like a bomb went off. ¬†Everything was a mess and needed scrubbing, never mind tidying. ¬†¬†The cats were vomiting up hairballs. ¬†Nate was working a charter, so he wouldn’t be home until very late… ¬†Brady was innocently, yet quite successfully, destroying things in his effort to explore and play. ¬†And when I tried to guide him elsewhere, he’d angrily yell back and refuse to find satisfaction in the other activities I offered.¬†¬†(It was obvious to me that he was acting out due to wanting my attention, but¬†Kaitlyn¬†was having a rough morning and wouldn’t stop fussing. ¬†So I wasn’t able to hold him close the way he wanted to be, which resulted in toddler tantrums and mommy guilt).

I just sat in the middle of our home and wanted to throw my hands up in defeat. ¬†I wanted to admit to the world that I didn’t have this. ¬†I had no idea what I was doing. ¬†I was in over my head, and I wasn’t prepared to gently raise a strong-willed son and an emotional baby girl. ¬†My patience was at an all-time low! ¬†And, I’m not proud to admit, my attitude (and raised voice) was reflecting all the frustration and anxiety that I felt inside.

I just needed everyone to cooperate and to cooperate now!  Mommy was DONE!

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Then I received news that a dear friend of mine had passed the night before from cancer. ¬†And suddenly, everything was put into perspective for me. ¬†When you watch a family lose their mother, you are reminded of what truly matters and just how precious each day with your children truly is. ¬†I took in the chaos around me – the noise and the mess – and I realized just how blessed I am to have it. ¬†All those dirty dishes… ¬†The dust bunnies clinging to the bookcase… ¬†The toddler who needs a little bit more patience and a loving hand… ¬†The infant who stares up at me with such adoring eyes…

I will not have these forever, but I do have them now.

At the funeral of my friend, her son oh-so-eloquently spoke about the things that made his mother truly special. ¬†And never once did “a spotless house” or “keeping it all together” came up. ¬†He talked about her amazing laugh, her love of Christmas, activities they did as a family, and her always ¬†being there for him and his sister.

And honestly, that’s one of the greatest impacts she had on my life. ¬†Her love of being a mom. ¬†I don’t know that I’ve ever met a woman who never once complained about being a mother or a wife. ¬†She always told me that her goal in life was to enjoy every stage with her children, and she really did. ¬†She was proud of them – and her husband – beyond words, and she loved them without measure. ¬†To hear her talk about marriage or motherhood was to hear her brag about her soulmate or kids.

That always stuck with me and has been a challenge and a goal for me too. ¬†That despite the craziness and the chaos, I want to enjoy each stage. ¬†Because even if each stage moving forward does seem to get a little easier, the stage behind it is gone forever. ¬†I can never get it back, so it’s up to me to live in the moment now.

These kiddo’s? ¬†They’re treasures worth fighting for. ¬†They’re worth the sleepless nights, the waking up early, the never-ending struggle to keep life organized… They’re worth every bit of it.

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I’m not saying that I haven’t still had bad days. ¬†(Last week, in particular, was pretty tough). ¬†I’m not saying that we should ignore just how hard being a mom is sometimes and pretend that life is always sunshine and roses. ¬†(I’m a firm believer in being real with each other, because we¬†all¬†go through tough patches and need the encouragement of others). ¬†But¬†I also firmly believe that – despite the craziness of mom life – we can strive to flourish in the joy that God provides. ¬†We can grow and learn to parent with patience and love. ¬†We can choose to find beauty in every single day, overlooking the clutter to see the sparkle.

I am so thankful to God that I have my two kiddo’s. ¬†And although these recent days have been hard (because we moms ALL have those days), I want to try even harder to rise above and to not only treasure these moments, but to let my children see that I’m treasuring the moments.

That I’m’ treasuring them.

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#MOMLIFE (Part 1 of 3)

My son is 2 1/2 years old, and my beautiful baby girl has just reached one month. ¬†So between the two of them, they don’t speak very much, except for awkward sentences and vocalizations along the lines of “Is me all wet?” and “Waaaaaaaahh!” ¬†But despite the lack of an extensive English vocabulary, I’m fairly certain that these two are already communicating…

It’s as if they¬†plan¬†their hysterical, break-mommy’s-heart, tear-filled meltdowns to coincide with the other’s. ¬†It’s like they know¬†that I’m outnumbered.

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Oh, you’re going to hysterically burst into tears, demanding milk from Mama, at a quarter past three? ¬†Great, that works for me too! ¬†I’ll bash my big toe in around then…

It always happens all at once.

Just the other day, I was sitting on the living room floor and pumping breastmilk¬†while¬†attempting to cradle my screaming baby girl. ¬†(If you’ve never tried holding a baby against your chest¬†while¬†pumping, then you totally should. ¬†It’s a riot). ¬† And since I had thought it would be a good idea to bring my toddler’s highchair into the TV room to watch cartoons while I pumped, baked beans were raining down on my head… on the newborn’s head… and on the newly installed carpet.

You know, because I had thought that it was a good idea to feed the stickiest meal¬†ever¬†to my tantrum-throwing toddler… during a part of the day when I couldn’t easily get to him…. all while my baby girl was uncomfortable, screaming, and desperate to be held. ¬†(Come to think of it, purchasing new carpet months before the arrival of a newborn probably wasn’t the smartest decision we’ve ever made either).

You live and you learn, am I right?

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But there I was, once again, surrounded by complete chaos; because my littles decided to impeccably plan their need for attention. ¬†Brady¬†needed¬†to be held and shown love. ¬†Kaitlyn needed to be held upright and secure to help her through a painful acid reflux episode. ¬†‘The girls’ needed to be pumped like two hours ago. ¬†Oh, yeah, and the cats also decided that now would be a¬†great¬†time to sit at my feet and beg earnestly for their lunch.

All…at…once…

And granted, no one is going to die or be injured if they’re left to cry for awhile longer. ¬†But it just seems to happen a little more frequently than I’m comfortable with, and – quite frankly – it breaks my heart. ¬†I’m left having to choose. ¬†Who do I comfort first? ¬†Who do I disappoint?

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Who has to sit in the background while Mommy tends to the other child first?

And the more I ponder that in my head (at a rapidly fast pace), the more my anxiety levels go up.  The more my mommy guilt shoots through the roof.  The more I somehow blame myself for not being able to properly diffuse the situation.

Because I’m a mom… ¬†So obviously, I’m supposed to be able to split myself into two mommy blobs and handle both problems at once. ¬†(Which, for the record, wouldn’t be necessary if my kiddo’s didn’t somehow communicate and sync their schedules so perfectly).

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(…to be continued) ¬†ūüôā

 

 

 

The Third Trimester Life

Have you seen those memes that say something to the affect of “When you’re pregnant, shaving your legs is an Olympic Sport”? ¬†I always thought that meme was funny. ¬†Maybe even clever.

But now that I’m three and a half weeks from my due date, I’m not finding it so humorous. ¬†ūüėČ ¬†Forget shaving… ¬†I can barely handle putting on my pants. ¬†Between ¬†Kaitlyn practicing future ballet moves and digging her chubby toes into my ribcage, the sciatica that’s sending intense pain down my lower back and legs, the exhaustion and breathlessness of anemia, and the ginormous belly? ¬†I can’t bend or get comfortable or walk. ¬†I’m at the point that I have to sit down to just put on my makeup, because I don’t have the energy to stand. ¬†I have to sit down to prepare dinner. ¬†I have to sit down to put on my shoes.

I even have to sit down to eat chocolate if I want to enjoy it!

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I do have this really awesome, penguin waddle going on though. ¬†It’s totally sexy. ¬†I feel like a confident, watermelon-toting Victoria’s Secret model marching down the runway. ¬†Nate seriously can’t take his eyes off me… ¬†(Although I have my suspicions that he’s sympathetically grimacing in pain while he watches me hobble by. ¬†My belly looks as heavy as it feels these days. ¬†I’ve officially passed the cute stage… ¬†left behind the watermelon smuggler phase… ¬†and now I’m entering blimp territory). ¬†¬†

I don’t even know how it’s possible that the 9 months aren’t up yet. ¬†This third trimester really has been never-ending.

50 Funny Pregnancy Memes That Will Make You Pee Without Even Sneezing:

However, during this time, I’ve also mastered the art of kicking things into the air and catching them, which is quite impressive. ¬†Bending down to pick things up is SO two months ago. ¬†Even Brady is in awe of my mad reflexes. ¬†I’m thinking of submitting a tape of myself and applying for America Ninja Warrior. ¬†(I’ll bet being a mom has prepared me for most of the obstacles. ¬†As for the warped wall, all they need to do is put a cup of iced coffee at the top, and – let me tell you – I’d make it up there in record speed. ¬†Not even sure if my sneakers would need to touch the ground to get me up there…).

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In all seriousness though, this pregnancy has been completely different than my pregnancy with Brady. ¬†I was so energized and active during that third trimester. ¬† Of course, in between the energized activity, I did have time to nap and rest. ¬†That doesn’t happen these days… ¬†This time around, things have been¬†much¬†harder, because I’m constantly chasing after an ever-energetic little tyke. ¬†(I feel like I’m even chasing him during the moments that I’m sitting down to pee. ¬†I don’t know how that’s humanly possible, but – trust me – I do it. ¬†Bathroom breaks are seriously no longer breaks… ¬†It’s like trying to relieve yourself while being locked in a restroom with a wild monkey). ¬†

Thanks to the added exhaustion and physical exertion, my body doesn’t seem to want to cooperate, resulting in more uncomfortable and painful pregnancy symptoms than last time. ¬†And most times, my strong-willed toddler cooperates just as well. ¬†ūüėČ ¬† His favorite words right now are “in five minutes, Mama” or “no thanks.”

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The more I reply with “No, Mama, needs you to listen now,” the more he seems to retreat into his little toddler world of Mickey Mouse, icecream, bubbles, and puppies. ¬†Seriously, men get a bad rap for selective hearing, but toddlers have turned that into an art. ¬†They really do live in their own little world! ¬†I say “green beans,” and he hears “icecream”. ¬†I say “time to change your bum,” and he hears “time to dump out all the blocks and play.” ¬†I say “time to put your coat on,” and he hears “let’s dance”.

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It’s a good thing that he’s cute, lovable, absolutely hilarious, and my entire world. ¬†Because he’d be in trouble otherwise. ¬†But, you know, despite the insanity, I just can’t imagine my long, exhausting days without him! ¬†And he really is SUCH a good little boy. ¬†He’s just, well, a toddler. ¬†We’ve all had to go through that stage and drive our mothers a little crazy. ¬†It’s like a requirement for growing up…

But yes, three and a half weeks. ¬†That’s it. ¬†That’s all that’s standing between me and meeting my precious baby girl. ¬†And then, this will ALL be worth it… right down to the hairy legs, swollen feet, and out-of-control hormones.

For now, I’m going to do my best to see the humor. ¬†To focus on our beautiful prize. ¬†To be the best preggo mom that I can possibly be. ¬†And to practice that sexy penguin waddle. ¬†After putting in all this effort to learn it, I don’t want to forget how to do it just because I’m not pregnant anymore! ¬†ūüėČ

50 Funny Pregnancy Memes That Will Make You Pee Without Even Sneezing:

Pregnancy is SUCH a blessing… ¬†but it’s also a tough – often uncomfortable – journey. ¬†Do you have a funny pregnancy story to share?

 

 

Preggo Journal – Week 30 Recap

How Far Along ‚ÄstI’m 31 weeks, which means 8 weeks until my C-section. ¬†Okay, now I¬†really¬†need to pack my hospital bag! ¬†ūüėČ ¬†And pack Brady’s things… And make sure the hubby has a bag… ¬†And finish washing / organizing the baby things… ¬†And organize a few places in the house.

Yeah, I basically just need to get these projects started and finished, my friends! ¬†ūüôā ¬†Apparently pregnancy brings out the procrastinator in me. ¬†(Or maybe it’s life with a toddler. ¬†I’m pretty sure that has a lot to do with it too).

Baby Name:   Kaitlyn Marie

First and Second Pregnancy, Comparison Pics:  

THEN ‚Äď ¬†(2014)

NOW (2017) ‚Äď

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I‚Äôm Craving / Disliking: ¬†¬†Really no specific cravings. ¬†I feel as though I’ve just been particular… ¬†I’m usually a foodie who loves everything, but I’ve been very picky this pregnancy. ¬†Like if someone offers to bring icecream over, I have a long list of flavors that they¬†shouldn’t¬†bring. ¬†Ha, ha. ¬†(For the record, normally I’ll eat¬†any¬†flavor of icecream). ¬†For some reason though, I’ve been very specific about flavors during this pregnancy, whether it’s dessert or an entree.

Exercise: ¬†I didn’t get any structured exercise in this week (as the temps dropped), but honestly chasing after Brady all day does count for something. ¬†ūüėČ ¬†I’m always on my feet, walking, carrying him or other things, and just all-around moving. ¬†They should make a workout video that’s called ‘Toddler Mom’. ¬†Seriously, it’s a full body workout!

Awkward Moment:   I survived the week without any awkwardness!

A Moment I Don‚Äôt Want to Forget: ¬†While I was in line at the grocery store yesterday afternoon, an elderly veteran behind me pointed at my belly and said, “Miss, I just want you to know that I’ll be praying for a healthy pregnancy and delivery for mama and baby.” I thanked him for his thoughtfulness, adding that I appreciate every single prayer! And he said, “I go to church a lot so don’t think I’ll forget to pray for you!” Then he showed me pictures of his one-year-old granddaughter whom he was obviously very much infatuated with. I was completely touched by his kindness and by how sweet he was that I came dangerously close to bursting into tears. Oh pregnancy hormones!! ¬†It was just a really special moment and reminded me that this insane world is still filled with wonderful people.

Ooh, AND I received my C-section paperwork in the mail just the other day! ¬†My surgery has been scheduled for May 4th at 7:30am (which means Nate and I have to be at the hospital for 5:30am). ¬†It’s SO weird to have a scheduled date and to know when I’m going to meet my precious baby girl. ¬†At the same time, it is a little bit convenient, since I can arrange child-care for Brady that much easier. ¬†ūüėČ ¬†But still, please keep me and my nerves in your prayers! ¬†I’m starting to get a tiny bit nervous about it… ¬†C-sections do come with their risks, and the recovery afterward is no joke. ¬†I’m just praying for a safe surgery and also that my recovery won’t be too bad (especially since I have a toddler at home this time around). ¬†Honestly, last time, my recovery was pretty great; but I don’t want to get my hopes up that it’ll happen again. ¬†ūüėČ

Something I Miss: ¬†Energy. ¬†And being able to bend down. ¬†And coffee. ¬†(As of two weeks ago, coffee gives me heartburn, so I’ve had to give up my treasured decaf).

Sleep: ¬†Despite having to wake up every two hours to pee, I’m actually sleeping pretty well still.

To-Do List Completions:  Other than baby shopping, I got nothing done this week.  Yeah, I know, I need to get on that.

Purchases:¬† I have basically everything I need now for when baby Kaitlyn arrives… except for clothes. ¬†I’ll probably focus on buying that closer to my due date.

Symptoms: ¬†On Friday, I was diagnosed with SPD (or something like that. HA!). ¬†Basically it has to do with my pelvis (or something like that). ¬†Honestly, I have no idea what it is… ¬†The doctor used big words and had a thick accent; so once I realized that it was nothing serious (and that it would go away on its own after the pregnancy), I kind of dazed off and just nodded in agreement to whatever was being said to me. ¬†*sheepish grin* What I do know for sure is that it’s giving me sharp pains in my upper thigh every time I move, so – yeah – it’s no fun.

I also have on-and-off nausea, backaches, heartburn, never-ending Braxton Hicks contractions, headaches, and extreme exhaustion. ¬†This pregnancy is definitely a¬†lot¬†tougher than Brady’s pregnancy was (although I’m suspicious that much of that has to do with the fact that I’m running after a toddler all day). ¬†ūüėČ ¬†Still, I’m in good spirits, and I don’t complain… too much. ¬†Ha, ha!! ¬†I figured that pregnancy gives me¬†some¬†right to complain on occasion to my hubby. ¬†And thankfully, he’s very understanding and hugs me after my vent sessions. ¬†ūüôā

Final thought: ¬† ¬†Nate and I really do plan for this to be our last pregnancy… ¬†And although I’m not a huge fan of the process (despite the fact that it IS a huge blessing), ¬†I’ve decided that I’m going to really embrace the remaining 8 weeks of the pregnancy… aches and ALL! ¬†It really is a miraculous process, even if it involves discomfort and frustration at times, AND it is a very special time. ¬†So I’m going to embrace it for as long as I can. ¬†ūüôā

My Snowy Valentine

A week ago, there wasn’t an inch of white stuff on the ground and the temps were nearing 50 degrees. ¬†Flash forward 6 days and two snowstorms, our mailbox is almost buried under the snow and temps are blustery to say the least. ¬†It almost feels as though winter decided to bide its time – skipping over December and January – so that it could focus the entirety of its fury onto February.

That’s New England for ya… ¬†Our winters are as unpredictable as our sports teams. ¬†If you don’t like the weather / score, wait five minutes. ¬†Things’ll change. ¬†ūüėČ

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With two snowstorms hitting New England this week, Valentine’s Day actually crept up on me a bit. ¬†I know, I know, I’m usually the queen of planning and happily anticipating fun holidays and activities. ¬†But I’m very pregnant. ¬†And I’m constantly chasing after a toddler who only knows three speeds: ¬†fast, faster, and fastest. ¬†And there’s laundry, and piano lessons, and teaching Kid’s Church, and cooking for my two hungry men. ¬†As of late, the days have been blending together even more than normal.

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So, yes, I basically forgot Valentine’s Day until it was staring me in the face. ¬†I realize this sounds a little sad, but it was honestly the best thing that could have happened. ¬†Because let’s face it, I’m a “go big or go home” kind of girl. ¬†I completely realize that I always bake, decorate, and plan too much. ¬†But I also realize that I live for that. ¬†I¬†love¬†it! ¬†I love making my home look festive and baking so that others feel special. ¬†It’s totally my thing.

But you know what I love even more than that right now? ¬†Sleep… ¬†Having a few free moments to put my feet up… ¬†Fruit cups filled with melon, grapes, and blueberries… ¬†Chocolate.

Yep, I’m¬†officially¬†feeling very pregnant, and it totally trumps my Type-A, planner personality. ¬†Sooooo realizing last minute that Valentine’s Day had arrived was the best possible thing for me this year. ¬†I didn’t decorate. ¬†I didn’t plan. ¬†I just celebrated preggo-mom style.

I had Valentine M&M’s in the cupboard (since I can never resist buying holiday-themed baking supplies the minute they hit the supermarket shelves), which I decided to whip into cookies. ¬†(I used my favorite Hershey’s chocolate chip cookie recipe and just substituted the chocolate chips with a cup of m&m’s. ¬†Both the hubby and toddler approved, and I have to admit that they are quite “dewishus”, as Brady would say).

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Honestly, Tuesdays are usually a little crazy around here, since I have to prep for piano lessons, clean the house, and pack Brady meals for my mom’s house. ¬†But whatever the reason, this one was actually quite smooth-sailing. ¬†Somehow we’d managed to keep the house rather clean during the week, I didn’t have much prep to do, and Brady was in a spectacular mood. ¬†Like¬†spectacular¬†mood!

If every day was like this, the mom life would be easy-peasy lemon squeezy.

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Nate and I didn’t have our typical Valentine’s dinner together, because we decided to hold off for now (since the Babymoon is just around the corner). ¬†Plus he had work… and then church tonight. ¬†BUT we spontaneously danced to a favorite song and had a really sweet moment… And we finished the house-cleaning together while chatting about our night away… ¬†And, I don’t know, we just made the absolute best of a busy day, and it was really special.

For dinner, during the one hour Nate was able to be home tonight, I made these pork chops¬†(which are delicious) and this Strikeout Pasta Salad.¬† (It’s a homemade version of your typical, Italian-dressing pasta. ¬†The dressing is really simple to make but has a ton of fresh flavor. ¬†Both Nate and Brady LOVE it, as do I).

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Then, when the little guy was finally in bed for the evening and Nate was home from church, Nate and I cuddled on the couch and watched¬†The Middle. ¬†SUCH a great Valentine’s Day… even if I almost forgot it. ¬†ūüôā

 

Up…Up… And Away!

Poop.  I was searching in the dark for lost poop.  This, my friends, is what my life had become.  I had reached an all-new low, and I wondered Рfor a moment Рif there was any coming back from this.

But first, let me start from the beginning…

My two-year-old son is in a Spica cast due to a broken Femur. ¬†The story doesn’t fit the trauma of the injury and healing process. ¬†He fell to the kitchen floor during playtime while trying on one of my husband’s shoes. ¬†The end result was a trip to the ER, a two-night hospital stay, and 5-6 weeks in a body cast that doesn’t allow him to sit up or walk.

My poor baby boy was traumatized by the entire situation and spent the first few nights back home sleeping in bed with me and my husband. ¬†I was scared to death of touching him, moving him… and of changing his diaper. ¬†I was especially ¬†terrified of poop. ¬†The doctor had thought that it would be entertaining – ¬†or helpful – ¬†to tell us stories of toddlers who needed their casts completely redone, because poop had exploded up through their diaper into the inside of their cast.

Thank you for that image, Doc.  

Because of this, I was almost relieved that Brady was very constipated for his first bowel movement. ¬†It was 3am in the morning; and he woke me and Nate up, asking for a cup of juice. ¬†That’s when I smelled ‘it’ and sent Nate to get the juice while I tackled the diaper in the dark. ¬†I’m not exaggerating… I was so freaked out about getting poop on the cast that I was sweating and basically lamaze breathing as I undid the diaper.

But then I realized that the poor kid had pushed out a hard, golf ball of poop.  I made a mental note to buy prune juice just as I breathed a sigh of relief at how easy it would be to clean up.

Okay, maybe not. ¬†Brady decided to twist and kick in that moment. ¬†He might as well have shouted “FOUR!” ¬†That ball of poop took flight and landed… somewhere.

I just sat there, stunned, staring at the now-empty diaper. ¬†Like seriously, does this actually happen in real life? ¬†I squinted my eyes and tried to see better in the darkness, but I didn’t see the poop ball in the immediate area around us. ¬†So I started pulling back the sheets a bit. ¬†And then, as I searched¬†and¬†tried to keep my toddler from wriggling away, it hit me. ¬†I had lost a hard lump of poop in our bed.

The hysterical laughter that hit me immediately afterward mixed with sobs. ¬†I really wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, so I laugh-cried. ¬†(Totally a thing). ¬†It was 3am, I was exhausted, there was a now wide-awake toddler lying naked on my bed, and I was looking for lost poop.

This.  This is what my life had come to.

It’s not that I ever imagined the mommy life as being glamorous; but – let’s face it – we all hope that we’ll turn into¬†that¬†mom who miraculously holds it all together. ¬†You know, the June Cleaver of moms who manages to place a warm meal onto the table every night, while keeping a tidy home, looking effortlessly glamorous, and still finding the time for reading with her husband every night. ¬†They just don’t make them like that anymore.

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This is more my reality these days.

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Spica-cast inspired melt-downs… ¬†Tears… ¬†Frustration… ¬†And lost poop.

In the end, the flying poo turned up on Nate’s side of the bed. ¬†(At 2 years old, Brady is already quite athletic. ¬†Move over, Tiger Woods). ¬†In my exhaustion, I briefly wondered if I could just grab it with a baby wipe and then wait to tell Nate the story in like 30 years from now. ¬†But even if I’m no June Cleaver, I am very clean, hygienic, and humane, so I sighed in defeat and realized the diaper change had now turned into a sheet change. ¬†Unfortunately, after waiting for a diaper change¬†and¬†a bed-sheet change, there was no going back to bed for the little guy.

That’s okay, sleep and morning showers are totally overrated, so¬†early¬†morning cartoons it was.

As we snuggled in bed and watched¬†Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood,¬†Brady gently cupped my face in his hands as if he wanted to keep me as close as possible. ¬†Every once in awhile, he’d whisper “Mama” and then look up at me with his big eyes, as though to make sure that I was still there. ¬†(It’s something he has done quite frequently since our stay at the hospital). ¬†And I was reminded that even if the mommy life is far from glamorous (and that it does stink at times… literally), it is sweet. ¬†And beautiful. ¬†And precious.

Our little ones make it worth it, each and every day.  Because the love we have for them is unexplainable and unstoppable, even if it sometimes leaves us looking for lost poop at 3am.

 

 

Christmas Shopping… Done!

Since coming home from our two-night stay at the hospital, I’ve been busy shifting around our crazy schedule into one that has been wiped clean. ¬†Getting Brady around isn’t going to be an option for me, as his cast is heavy and cumbersome. ¬†So I guess you could say that the next six weeks are going to be a staycation with a toddler in a lime green Spica cast.

Makeup is optional. ¬†Yoga pants a must. ¬†Travel by wagon… ¬†Well, is there any other way to get around? ¬†Even a poor little dude with a broken leg can’t resist giggling (and smiling from ear-to-ear) when the mode of transportation is a red, Radio Flyer.

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I wish I could say that I just shrugged off the cancellation of our fun, upcoming holiday plans with ease; but to be completely honest, I had to let myself have a bit of a pity-party today. ¬† Although I always search for the humor and positive side of things, I don’t always jump to that conclusion automatically. ¬†Sometimes, I have to let myself be pulled – kicking and screaming -to the place where I can find laughter or a reason to be thankful.

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I mean, I was totally okay with having to reschedule a dentist appointment. ¬†(It’s not like I flossed as promised anyway). ¬†And I can live with the fact that piano lessons are going to be half days in January (although it’s not ideal). ¬†But then I started to get to all the fun plans we had scheduled over the next few weeks, and hitting the delete button was a bit tougher.

Okay, okay.  A lot tougher.

First, I had to come to the realization that Nate might not make it with me to our gender-reveal ultrasound on Thursday. ¬†(And we definitely can’t make it to the dinner plans we had made to celebrate afterward). ¬†Brady has special needs right now, and we wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving him with someone who hadn’t been trained in Spica cast care.

I had to cancel my Christmas shopping trip with my sister and a dinner date with a close friend.

We hope to make it to my family’s Christmas Eve party, but it all depends on how Brady is feeling. ¬†We probably won’t make it to Nate’s side of the family on Christmas Day. ¬†And none of Brady’s toys are appropriate for a little boy in a cast, so we have to put them aside to give them to him after Christmas (as apposed to the special, energetic Christmas morning we had planned).

And then I took a celebrity look-alike quiz on Facebook, and my result was Hilary Clinton. ¬†(Okay, so that last thing is completely unrelated, but being compared to a 69 year old politician wasn’t the highlight of my day. ¬†Kick me when I’m down, Facebook. ¬†Kick me when I’m down).

I had to regroup a bit today. ¬†I had to let myself feel sad for just a bit, acknowledging the fun plans that I had to let go of. ¬†(If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that burying one’s feelings and ‘pretending them away’ doesn’t work). ¬†Then I had to take a deep breath and decide to focus on the good things that can come with the change of plans.

After all, I am very much Type A.  I love to create plans and lists.  If anyone can make these next few weeks special by creating replacement memories, I can!

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I think I can… ¬†I think I can…

I know I can!

And I decided to start right away with my Christmas shopping. ¬†I originally had planned to finish my Christmas shopping on Thursday, but instead spent the evening at the hospital with Brady and Nate. ¬†I realized this morning that I still had gifts to buy… ¬†Granted, I didn’t have too much to buy this year. ¬†Finances are a little tight this year (with Nate just starting the school bus driving job), so I could only afford to buy for family. ¬†But still, I hadn’t bought Nate his gifts yet (sheepish grin), I had a Yankee Swap gift to pick up, there were a few odds and ends to grab,¬†and¬†I needed to pick up a few things for Brady.

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Thank goodness for Amazon Prime’s two-day free shipping!!! ¬†While Brady napped, I finished my shopping in the comfort of my own home. ¬†(There’s something to be said for that… ¬†It’s a lot less crowded. ¬†Browsing isn’t as rushed. ¬†You don’t have to feel embarrassed by your chipped nail polish. ¬†And the hot cocoa is a lot cheaper, even if you do have to wash your own mug afterward).

I’m going to make the best of these next six weeks, even if they will be different than planned! ¬†Take that, Spica cast. ¬†Take that! ¬†This Type A mama has got this!

I mean, look at me go! ¬†I finished my Christmas shopping, and it’s not even Christmas Eve yet. ¬†ūüôā