#MOMLIFE (Part 1 of 3)

My son is 2 1/2 years old, and my beautiful baby girl has just reached one month.  So between the two of them, they don’t speak very much, except for awkward sentences and vocalizations along the lines of “Is me all wet?” and “Waaaaaaaahh!”  But despite the lack of an extensive English vocabulary, I’m fairly certain that these two are already communicating…

It’s as if they plan their hysterical, break-mommy’s-heart, tear-filled meltdowns to coincide with the other’s.  It’s like they know that I’m outnumbered.

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Oh, you’re going to hysterically burst into tears, demanding milk from Mama, at a quarter past three?  Great, that works for me too!  I’ll bash my big toe in around then…

It always happens all at once.

Just the other day, I was sitting on the living room floor and pumping breastmilk while attempting to cradle my screaming baby girl.  (If you’ve never tried holding a baby against your chest while pumping, then you totally should.  It’s a riot).   And since I had thought it would be a good idea to bring my toddler’s highchair into the TV room to watch cartoons while I pumped, baked beans were raining down on my head… on the newborn’s head… and on the newly installed carpet.

You know, because I had thought that it was a good idea to feed the stickiest meal ever to my tantrum-throwing toddler… during a part of the day when I couldn’t easily get to him…. all while my baby girl was uncomfortable, screaming, and desperate to be held.  (Come to think of it, purchasing new carpet months before the arrival of a newborn probably wasn’t the smartest decision we’ve ever made either).

You live and you learn, am I right?

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But there I was, once again, surrounded by complete chaos; because my littles decided to impeccably plan their need for attention.  Brady needed to be held and shown love.  Kaitlyn needed to be held upright and secure to help her through a painful acid reflux episode.  ‘The girls’ needed to be pumped like two hours ago.  Oh, yeah, and the cats also decided that now would be a great time to sit at my feet and beg earnestly for their lunch.

All…at…once…

And granted, no one is going to die or be injured if they’re left to cry for awhile longer.  But it just seems to happen a little more frequently than I’m comfortable with, and – quite frankly – it breaks my heart.  I’m left having to choose.  Who do I comfort first?  Who do I disappoint?

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Who has to sit in the background while Mommy tends to the other child first?

And the more I ponder that in my head (at a rapidly fast pace), the more my anxiety levels go up.  The more my mommy guilt shoots through the roof.  The more I somehow blame myself for not being able to properly diffuse the situation.

Because I’m a mom…  So obviously, I’m supposed to be able to split myself into two mommy blobs and handle both problems at once.  (Which, for the record, wouldn’t be necessary if my kiddo’s didn’t somehow communicate and sync their schedules so perfectly).

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(…to be continued)  🙂

 

 

 

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10 thoughts on “#MOMLIFE (Part 1 of 3)”

  1. There was no tougher time in my life than when we jumped from one kid to two kids. My oldest didn’t want to share me and I felt that I was being torn in two. In time we adjusted, but the first couple of months were brutal. Surprisingly, the jump from two to three was much easier.

    1. I’m relieved to hear you say that! A bunch of my friends said that one to two kids was the easiest transition, but – like you – that hasn’t been the case for me. So I keep thinking, “What am I doing wrong?” 😉 I think that a lot of it depends on the child’s personality… I know that my toddler is struggling with the adjustment, because he’s lonely when mommy has to spend time with the newborn. And that lends itself to mommy guilt. But we can only do our best, and I know that – in the end – it will all be worth it. I loved growing up with siblings, and I can already tell that Brady will love having a sibling to play with. It’s just the adjustment that is difficult! 🙂
      Thank you for your comment!!

  2. I had to laugh about the new carpet…we were totally planning on getting new carpet before Ellis was born, but my parents explained to us why we might want to wait a few years:P I am amazed (as always) at how well you’re keeping it together through this transition! Can’t wait for Part 2:)

    1. I’ve honestly never felt such anxiety as I do when they’re both crying for me… HOWEVER, spoiler alert, things have been getting better this week. I feel like we’re slowly finding a routine, and that’s helping a LOT.
      This phase has felt like a lifetime, so it kind of shocks me when I remember that it’s only been 7 weeks! But at the same time, it’s a reminder that things are only going to get easier.

  3. Baked beans raining down on your head… and Kaitlyn’s.. and the carpet. Oh boy!! I can’t imagine the day-to-day choice that you have to make when it feels like everyone needs you all at once. I can’t wait to keep reading this series, though, because I know you and I know there will be so much wisdom and encouragement through it all!

    1. Thank you, Allie!
      And, as I told Rachel above, things were a little easier this week. I think we’re headed in the right direction and finding a routine that’s starting to work for all of us. 🙂 There have definitely been some tough days (today was another one), BUT there have been some really good days this week too. And I’ve just been reminded that things will get easier!! 🙂

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