Mommy’s Baby Boy

It hit me all at once the other day that Brady will very soon no longer be the baby of the family.  I was sitting in the middle of his bedroom, wrapping his Big Brother present, when I was overcome by a sudden, intense emotion.  I took in the gray, jungle-themed nursery, remembering how I had decorated it with such excitement and anticipation.

And now here we are…  My baby boy is almost 2 1/2 years old, and his whole world is about to change.  He’s about to have a baby sister, and – as a result – he’s suddenly going to be asked to share his parents.  To share his Mama…

The tears and sobs couldn’t be held back.  I just sat there and cried hysterically.

This little boy is my entire world.  I love him with a fierceness that I can’t explain, and his happiness means more to me than anything else.  Honestly, even now, I can’t imagine loving another child as much as I love him.  I know that I will!  But I just can’t comprehend it (just as I couldn’t have understood a mother’s love until I became a mom).

And although I know that having a sibling will be the most precious gift we could give him, I also know that this transition could very well be a difficult one for him.  He’s not going to be the baby of the family anymore…  Mama is going to be pulled in other directions now and won’t always have time to play, cuddle, wrestle, or run.

Honestly, I’ve already been pulled away just a bit.  Okay, a lot.  I have so many more pregnancy aches and pains this time around.  I can’t go out and run like we used to.  I can’t roll around and wrestle on the ground.  Sometimes just a simple walk up the street feels like too much.

And my belly is so big that he hasn’t been able to snuggle on my lap for weeks.

Nate does his best to cover for me and takes Brady to the playground or on walks when he can.  I’m grateful for the help.  But I also ache at having to miss those precious moments.  And I wonder if Brady is already missing time with his Mama… when things are only about to get worse.

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It’s a strange mix of emotions rushing through me these days.  Guilt.  Excitement.  Sadness as I mourn Brady’s loss of ‘only child’ status.  Pure joy at realizing our little family will soon be complete and that Brady will have a sibling to share growing up with.  Unbelievable anticipation at the thought of being so close to meeting our beautiful, baby girl.

I know that having a sister to share holidays, vacations, birthdays, and just the every day simple joys with is going to be incredibly special for him.  I know that, because I grew up with that.  And that’s an incredible experience that I want him to have.  And so I try to focus on the fact that he will be receiving a very special gift.

When I was only weeks away from delivering Brady, I worried about how having a baby would impact my marriage.  And guess what, we’re okay!  Sure, things were more challenging at first, but I’m proud of how we rose to the occasion and kept our relationship first.  Our marriage thrived as we became more accustomed to our new normal.

So I know that everything will be okay this time around too…  But for now, I’m definitely holding my little guy a bit closer and trying to make sure he feels surrounded by love!

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Big changes are coming for everyone.  But if we hold each other close and stand together, the changes will be nothing but good!  Love never fails.  🙂

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10 thoughts on “Mommy’s Baby Boy”

  1. Oh I so understand this struggle! When I was pregnant with my second daughter, I was really really sad about Abrielle losing her monopoly on Mommy. I knew that although a sibling would be good for her, it would mean she’d miss out some things that an only child might get. It made me really sad! Let me offer this encouragement…it’s been so so great for her to have a sibling. Probably not true for every child, but she is so social and loves to play with her sister. I know she would have been really lonely if we’d decided not to have more children. I have a lot of peace having our third child (and our last!) knowing that my girls have some people to play with!

    1. Thank you so much for that encouragement!! I SO appreciate hearing from other moms who went through the same experience, only to realize that everything turned out beautiful in the end. I hadn’t realized that there would be feelings like this, but I’m hearing – more and more – that it’s a very common thing to experience when baby # 2 is on the way. It’s interesting how each new pregnancy brings out a different set of emotions / fears… but everything really does work out!
      How has your C-section recovery been??

      1. The c section recovery has been relatively smooth. Baby Aela however has a lip and tongue tie. We just had them revised this morning. I’m so frustrated we are going through this again. But at least I am able to nurse this time because it hasn’t been quite as bad as last time.

      2. Oh no! We went through that with Brady as well… A lactation consultant discovered it when he was just over 2 months old (after weeks of frustrating breastfeeding). We definitely will have to get Kaitlyn checked early for that. It is frustrating, for sure! I hope she heals up quickly and that nursing is easier going forward!

    1. Thank you so much! 🙂 And I’m obsessed with the name ‘Brady’ too… of course. 😉 My hubby suggested it as a joke, because we’re huge Patriot’s fans. But when he said it, I gasped and said, “Oh my goodness, that’s it! That’s what we have to name our little guy.” ‘Brady’ just felt right! 🙂

  2. I cried along with this sweet post! I can’t imagine all the different emotions you must be going through right now and I can’t wait to see what a great big brother Brady is going to be♥️

  3. *HUGS*

    Oh friend, I’m far from being where you are since I’m only pregnant with our first child right now, but I can already imagine just how different things will be as our family grows in the future. Christopher and I were talking the other day about our adoption plans and trying to decide what that would look like. Would Baby Girl be the oldest sibling or would we end up adopting a child (or children) older than her? What will that be like for our family? So many things to figure out. I know for now we’re just trying to get her here safely and once we’ve got our feet underneath us again we’ll start talking more seriously about what growing our family might look like. But it’s such a big thing! I know it has to be so hard on your momma’s heart!

    1. It IS a big thing. And already having a child definitely makes the second pregnancy (or adoption) harder in that regard. BUT during the first pregnancy, everything is so new and unfamiliar, which makes that side of things a bit more overwhelming. There are so many blessings – and struggles too – with each new addition to the family.
      I know that I personally enjoyed my pregnancy with Brady so much more just because there is something special about expecting your first. It’s precious and priceless and magical. And that’s the way it should be!
      The second time around has definitely proven to be tougher, BUT I know it’ll all be worth it in the end. For now, I’m just trying to take it one day at a time. I feel like this pregnancy has been so much bigger than me… but I also know that I serve a God who is so much bigger than any of my struggles! 🙂

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