I’ve always heard that being a parent is a full-time job… But can we just all pause a moment and agree on the fact that this doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface? I mean, let’s face it, even the most time-consuming of careers allow for sick days or a vacation here or there. Parenthood, on the other hand, is more like full-time breathing. Calm and even-paced at times; maybe a bit more ‘I’m-running-a-marathon’ type at others. 😉
But it is 24/7.
That’s probably one of the toughest adjustments for new parents. For me, every stage has gotten easier, because Brady becomes more independent. (And his sleeping through the night doesn’t hurt things either). 😉 But during those first few months (and even maybe through the the first year), you’re tired. Tired ALL the time. You’re figuring things out.
And you’re needed. Needed ALL the time.
You’re giving so much that sometimes you don’t feel as though there’s anything left to give. It’s really easy to lose focus. Because all the baby books, and the attention from family, and the never-ending articles are centered around one thing: your beautiful baby.
It is ridiculously easy to get frustrated with each other when things go wrong. To find excuses as to why you don’t have time to cuddle, talk, laugh, or be intimate. To be condescending when the other does things differently than you would do.
But that is when a tough stretch for a marriage takes a turn towards the dangerous. When you forget that your love came first. And that your love needs to always come first.
I firmly believe that a safe, loving home for a child begins when they see just how fiercely their parents love each other. And respect each other.
Respect is huge.
Brady is only two, and some of these goals that Nate and I hold close have already been tested. But it is always our main focus. We make sure Brady sees us hug and kiss. We never disrespect the other or talk down the other to him (this includes sarcasm). If Daddy or Mommy says ‘no’, than the significant other backs them up. And just as important as we view quality time with our little guy, we treasure our quality time together. Although it doesn’t happen enough, it is a priority for us (whether it’s our monthly date night out or even just putting aside social media and playing a game / snuggling on the couch to watch a movie together).
I have to say that as Brady gets older, especially over these past few months, I find Nate and I slipping back into some of the comfortable routines we once held. Or maybe our new efforts to make time for each other, despite the craziness of parenthood, are starting to feel familiar. Whatever the reason, it’s an incredible feeling.
With another baby on the way, we fully realize that things are about to jump back into unfamiliar, and exhausting, territory. But I have to say that – this time around – I’m not worried about how a baby will affect our marriage. I’m really not. I know that things will be tougher for awhile, but I also know that we’ll get through it together. That we’ll make time for precious moments…
And that we’ll only grow more and more in love during the entire process.
Of course, we have to make sure that we keep our priorities straight! 🙂 And what better way to keep our focus right than to go on a one-night Babymoon? (Babymoon post coming next…). 🙂