Chunky Monkey

If you follow me on Instagram, then you already know that I went on a shopping trip this past weekend with my mom and sister.  Honestly, our all-day trips to the mall (the laughter… the bargain hunting… the window shopping… the eating) are some of my most treasured moments with them.  It’s about so much more than just finding a new pair of shoes or a cute new top.  (Not that there’s anything wrong with finding a new pair of shoes or a cute new top).  😉

But honestly, it really is all about the food.

Kidding!!!

It’s about the quality time, of course.  (But seriously, we eat a lot when we shop together).

My main focus for this particular trip was to find a few winter maternity tops.  But that didn’t stop me from window-shopping and browsing the jewelry sections, when my mom and sister shopped in stores that sold clothes not quite suitable for my growing bump.  I’m never against looking at pretty things!  And I’m still at the stage where I can fit into flowy tops that aren’t maternity.  (Remember how I was going to start wearing maternity clothes on December 1st?  Ha, ha.  I pushed out the date, because I found a few more loose tops that I can wear. I’m holding off as long as possible).

My mom and I were sitting outside a waiting room door at a clothing store while my sister Sarah tried on an outfit, when one of the clerks came to ask if Sarah needed anything.  Sarah had opened up the door just then and showed us the stylish, gray dress.  She looked adorable!

When she had closed the door again, the clerk whispered to me and my mom, “What size is she?  A 2?  Anything looks good on someone that skinny.”  She shook her head in disgust.  “We chunky girls have to make due with what we can, am I right?”

I literally had the hardest time keeping the look of shock off my face.  Like I’m fairly certain that my jaw hit the floor, which is a good thing because it kept me from replying.

Chunky?  Chunky?!?   My mom is skinnier than me OR my sister.  And I personally prefer to be called curvaceous.  Or you can call me a healthy woman who is 4 1/2 months pregnant.  That works too…  But CHUNKY?

Seriously?!?

I mean, I ate a salad for lunch!

Granted, I ate it with a side of cheeseburger and fries, but – hey – I’m eating for two now.  Cut a girl some slack.

I was personally unshaken by what she said, but – at the same time – I was beyond irritated.  I think it was mainly the way she said it…  I’m a huge proponent of loving our bodies, no matter its shape and size, and focusing on health.  But there’s such a negative connotation that comes with “fat”, “huge,” and “chunky.”

Well, unless, we’re talking about Chunky Monkey icecream from Ben and Jerry’s, in which case ‘chunky’ is a pretty awesome thing.  

Honestly, my sister and I leave this particular store with similar experiences every time.  A clerk always feels they have the right to comment on our bodies.  (Last time, my sister got the negative feedback, if you can believe that).  I’m not quite sure why we still go in there, hoping to find an adorable, bargain outfit.  We always leave irritated with the fact that an employee felt they had the right to give us a very unnecessary (and unwanted) opinion about our shapes or weight.

It just saddens, irritates, and frustrates me that we women can so easily put ourselves down.  And put each other down.  And see each other in a negative light, whether we’re a size 2.  Or a size 8.  Or a size 12.

Why does it have to come down to body size and shape?  Beauty is so much deeper than our skin.  (And if we are going to talk about our appearances for a moment, who holds the right to decide what is beautiful and what isn’t?  Are we going to base our opinion of beauty on photo-shopped models and actresses from Hollywood?).

It’s time we started to embrace our individual beauty, not only accepting it for ourselves but also encouraging the same outlook in others.  We women need to stand together and lift each other up!

Have you ever had a similar experience where a sales clerk thought she had the right to comment on your body in a negative light?

And do you think that I should do a clothing haul?  I found some really cute things!  🙂  

 

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7 thoughts on “Chunky Monkey”

  1. I am shocked!! That’s so unprofessional of the clerk to say that. I would have complained to a manager honestly. Besides, leaving out the fact that you’re PREGNANT, she doesn’t have the right to comment on someone’s body type and she doesn’t know their life circumstances. Ugh.

    Rant over…I probably would not have been able to take that comment with your resilience.

    Yes to the clothing…let’s see the goods! I keep eyeing clothes, but need to wait til I’m done being pregnant. I’m fortunate…my sister gave me her maternity wardrobe which is way better than my regular wardrobe lol.

    1. I was shocked too! I think maybe that’s where my silence came from… Because to be honest, my filter tends to go away when I’m preggo, so it’s a Christmas miracle that I didn’t tell the woman what I thought about that comment. 😉
      That’s awesome that your sister gave you her maternity wardrobe!!! Maternity clothes are SO expensive! Do you have a favorite place that any of the clothes are from? Mine are mostly from Motherhood Maternity although I love to shop sales from Macy’s and Old Navy too. I’ll definitely put together a shopping haul!! 🙂

  2. That was really unprofessional and inappropriate. I think if you go back to the store (it sounds like it’s not worth your time though), you should seek out the manager and not name-names of clerks, but just give the manager a gentle nudge that some customer service training could be in order for the staff. Especially since this wasn’t a one-time-occurrence but is something you’ve noticed at the store in the past.

    1. That’s honestly probably a good idea. Just to give management an idea that many of the employees are really inconsiderate (and just downright snooty) towards customers. It has happened several times, and I’ve seen it happen to others… Honestly, this woman’s comment was VERY tame. I’ve heard someone told that they were too straight-figured to wear many of the styles. It was said to convince the person to buy a pricier dress that ‘actually looked good’. My sister and I always say that we won’t go back in there… but then we see a good sale and it draws us in. 😉

  3. Oh wow, I just can’t believe that. I mean, you definitely aren’t “chunky” (even pregnant you don’t look chunky at all!), but even if you were, having someone compare your body to someone else’s is completely inappropriate. I remember the day when I realized that there will always be someone who is skinnier or bustier, taller or more petite, or with better skin than me. We are all so different and unique. And comparing ourselves to other women doesn’t make anyone feel better. There was a day when I was a teenager when I was at the pool with a group of girls. This one girl who is a gymnast had awesome abs. I remember noticing that and thinking that her stomach was so flat you could bounce a quarter on it. That same girl walked up to me as we were leaving the pool and she said, “Ugh, I just hate my thighs. How do you have such perfect legs?”. I told her, “Oh girl, whatever, you look awesome. I was just thinking how great your abs are!” And it struck me then how she was super self conscious about something that I hadn’t even noticed. Our culture has such strange standards of beauty. So sad. I’m sorry she said that to you and your mom. It sounds like she didn’t have unkind intent, but it’s just not a gracious thing to say.

    On a happier note, I vote yes to the shopping haul! And I’m so glad you had fun with your mom & sister!

    1. I think the reason why I was frustrated and upset – but not angry – was because this women pulled herself into the chunky category too. She obviously had a low self-esteem of herself, and I felt bad. I know how it is to struggle with body image, and it’s not a fun place to be! I’ve definitely been more upset with other employees who have commented on my friend’s or my sister’s body in a negative light… It’s definitely not right and not supportive to women.
      Like you said, we’re all our toughest critics. How amazing would it be if we all lifted each other up and encouraged each other!
      And so excited to do the shopping haul! It’s been too long since I’ve done a vlog. 🙂

  4. YESSS I would love to see a clothing haul! I always love seeing what people pick out. I guess it is kind of like window shopping online. So sorry you had to deal with such an awful experience. I have no idea what makes someone think it is okay to say something like that!

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