Hopefully I’ll have pics in my blogs starting tomorrow. I had misplaced my point-and-shoot camera, but finally found it… So pics will be back ASAP! 🙂 Also, I’ll have a pregnancy update blog coming up next. Woo hoo!
I’d asked Brady to be patient for one minute too long. He’d happily chatted his way through several stores, calling out “hello” to everyone we passed with great enthusiasm. But that one last stop at Sears to check out snowsuits on sale pushed him over the edge. Dr. Jekyll transformed into Mr. Hyde, and Brady let the entire mall know.
He wasn’t happy with his mama.
*Cue blood-curling screams*
I kept my cool, promising him a snack and a sippy cup filled with his favorite orange juice. I spoke in soothing (slightly desperate) tones. I managed to stay calm (for the post part) until he’d finally allowed me to place his writhing body back into his stroller. But still, I know that by the end of the incident, I was red-faced, frazzled, and looking every bit the picture of a desperate, exhausted mom.
I stood up and nearly bumped into two young women (probably in their early twenties) who had approached me while I was buckling in my little guy. They wore friendly, sincere smiles. At the same time, their unbearably stylish makeup and outfits did make me very much aware that I hadn’t showered that morning.
The taller of the two stepped closer and brightly said, “Hi, I’d like to invite you to an encouraging Bible study at my church this week. Will you join us?”
I just stood there a moment, mouth slightly agape, as they eagerly awaited my answer.
Oh my gosh, I look like a desperate housewife. Or someone who is in desperate need of saving. Or a desperate, homeless person who needs a reason for living.
The first thing that came to my mind in that split second afterward was to tell them that this was just a bad day. I’m actually a good mom. I don’t always have a screaming toddler… Or always go out in public when I didn’t have the chance to shower… Sometimes, I can look cute and put together too. I have a great husband, a warm home, plenty of food, and a supportive family.
And, oh yeah, I have a church. I’m a worship leader. And a Sunday School teacher. And a nursery worker.
I’m not the one who needs saving!
But then it hit me really quickly…
I DO need saving. Every…single…day… I wake up; and I say a prayer, asking for wisdom, strength, and sanity. These days, I’m Googling “How to entertain a toddler while you’re feeling nauseous.” And I’m battling major mommy guilt for the moments that I have to sit my little guy in front of the TV, because I’m painfully exhausted or vomiting. But I somehow still have to manage a household, cook meals, work, and run errands.
I don’t have it all together. I never have, but I especially don’t now that I’m pregnant AND raising a little human in this crazy world. I wish I could give Brady all the answers and help him avoid all the mistakes. And I wish I could sprinkle him with fairy dust that made him always listen obediently… while still leaving him with his spunky, independent personality. And I wish I didn’t always wonder, “What in the world am I supposed to do right now?”
Yes, I do need saving. I’m human. I have rough moments and rough days. I make mistakes. Sometimes I walk around Sears looking like a woman who’s at the end of her rope.
But in that split second, after pushing down the desire to defend myself, I suddenly felt this surge of pride for these two girls. Because let’s face it, it took guts for them to come up to a complete stranger like that. And honestly, they did it in the most sincere, earnest way possible. They were just a couple of cool friends who thought an exhausted woman in the store needed some encouragement. They were inviting me to hang out at a Bible study with them, and their kindness almost made me want to say “yes”. 🙂 I think that’s awesome!
So I replied something to the affect of, “Wow, thank you SO much for that! I already have a church… And I have Jesus! But thank you for inviting me. I know this took guts, and I think it’s awesome.”
We chatted a bit before parting ways, but I was left with the reminder that I do need help. And that’s okay! That’s why I need my faith. And it’s also why we need each other. We can’t make it through this crazy life on our own…
Maybe we all need to be a little braver and willing to reach out when we see someone else in need of a friend. We’ve all been there. But sometimes, we forget that we aren’t in this alone. 🙂