The LOL Mommy Life

The mom life…  It’s a fast-paced ride, one that’ll buck you here and attempt to throw you there, leaving you with smudged makeup, disheveled clothes, and hair more appropriate for a zombie apocalypse movie.  But it’s all good, really, because your adorable kiddo’s are SO worth it.  Prayer can get you through any day.  And the gas station up the street sells an endless supply of chocolate, coffee, and Dt. Coke.

You’ve totally got this!

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But then moments happen that leave you realizing that maybe you don’t exactly ‘got this’.  I mean, you’re surviving.  And everyone in your household is surviving (minus the potted plant you keep forgetting to water).  Still, you’re reminded that the mom life isn’t always a graceful one…  Sometimes, it’s hard.  And confusing.  And oftentimes – oh man, too many times – embarrassing.

I remember more seasoned moms telling me that – once I became a mom – I’d no longer have any shame or personal pride left.  I always took that to mean that the birthing and breast-feeding process would rip every ounce of modesty from my being.  I mean, after you’ve gone through that, everything else feels pretty tame.

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But then I became the mom of a rambunctious toddler, and I realized that releasing your pride is just a part of the journey.  You have to learn to laugh at yourself.  Or else you’ll be forced to create a disguise and move to another part of the country.

Thankfully, I’m pretty good at laughing at myself…  😉

Just the other day at the grocery store, I was waiting in line at the fish market, when Brady started to get fidgety and protested having to sit in the shopping cart.  I decided to make a game of asking him to touch and name the body parts he’s learned so far.  As he happily named his eyes, ears, nose, knee, toes, and hair, I felt this surge of pride.  Man, this was a mommy success story right here.  Even the people waiting around us looked impressed that the whining toddler was now suddenly giggling and grinning ear-to-ear.

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But then he exclaimed, “Belly!”, reached out with both hands, and grabbed my breast.  The kid wasn’t letting go.  He was proudly looking up at me with a beaming face, both of his chubby hands holding on with a deathlike grip.  It was one of those time-stands-still moments, and I should have reacted as apposed to just stand there.  But I just stood there, realizing that we obviously needed another anatomy lesson ASAP.  And the people around me all awkwardly shifted their attention elsewhere.  (Well, all except the elderly man whose mouth gaped open so huge, I was afraid he might lose his dentures).

The shopping trip afterward wasn’t all that much more graceful.  Thanks to a nasty head cold, I had a horrible coughing fit in the middle of a crowded aisle.  One of those coughing fits that leave tears running down your face, because you’re pretty much gasping for air.  I desperately needed something to drink, and the only beverage I had access to in the soup aisle was Brady’s sippy cup.  Sooooo, yeah, I totally gulped from a sippy cup in the middle of a crowded supermarket.  I got some looks for that one, let me tell you.

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And then there was the Walmart trip where – again – surrounded by people, Brady let out a very loud toot (thanks to a hearty lunch of baked beans).  He then followed that up with a very loud “AMEN!”  I burst into laughter.  Everyone else looked at me coldly as though I had disgraced the holy aisles of Halloween candy.  In a moment of ‘Nicole just got pushed over the edge’, I cheerfully told Brady, “Awww, I’m sorry, no one has a sense of humor today.”

Yeahhhh, I might have to create an alias for myself after that one.  I’m normally not one to be confrontational, but I was beyond agitated at how everyone was glaring at my happy little boy.  Relax people, am I right?!?

Maybe the moral of the story is that I should avoid shopping centers?  Maybe…  But then again, I think it’s just the mommy life sometimes.  There are just moments when being a mom is embarrassing.  So you’ve just got to laugh!  (Or buy that disguise quick while they’re on sale…).  😉

 

 

 

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17 thoughts on “The LOL Mommy Life

  1. Ok, this is the funniest post I’ve read in a long time!! And yes…been there…oh man. One horrible day, our chest freezer got unplugged and I lost over $60 worth of meat stored in there. So I took myself to the store to buy some groceries. While there, Abrielle decided to “hide” in an unsteady display of wine bottles and knocked them over, breaking a couple. In that moment I burst into tears in the middle of the grocery store. No dignified tear, just outright sobbing. Probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

    There’s also that time Abrielle decided to loudly start talking about her “va****” in Walmart. I had to explain to her that is a topic for home.

    • Oh no!! I totally would have cried if Brady knocked over and broke wine bottles in a store too. It’s that moment when you freeze and wonder what you’re going to do. (And you find yourself wishing that you could transport home before anyone sees you). 😉
      And LOL!!!! I guess Brady releasing gas loudly in Walmart is tame compared to the adventures that may happen once he begins to learn about body parts. Oh mom life!!

  2. Also, when I was in college, I would have mortified to even discover I had a stray piece of food on my jeans. Now I regularly go places with snot, crumbs on my shirt and just decide I don’t even care.

    • Same! I was leaving for church today, when I realized there was some food stuck to my black pants. And I just shrugged it off and thought, “Eh, I’ll wipe it off when I’m in nursery at some point.” Of course, I forgot… which was fine, since I ended up with cracker crumbs and juice on my pants once I was there. Ha, ha.

  3. HAHAHA! I give Moms all the credit!! I say almost every night when I’m feeling exhausted/a hot mess/eating candy bars for dinner/have a to-do list a million miles long…”what would you do if you had kids?!” Ahh, one day I’ll have to figure it out lol. Until then, keep showing us how it’s done!!! 😉 XO

    • Ha, ha. You’ll be an amazing mom one day! It’s amazing how – even amidst the exhaustion or confusion – things just kind of fall into place. I have so many days that I wonder, “What am I doing?” But then everything works out, and suddenly you realize that your little one is flourishing. Mom instinct really does kick in! And for the ‘oops’ moments, it’s a good thing that babies and toddlers are tougher than we often give them credit for. 🙂

  4. This was such a good post! You had me laughing out loud and shaking my head thinking about how life is going to be different once Ellis starts talking!! I’ve had little embarrassing moments so far…Ellis farted soooo loudly one Sunday at church (we now take him to the nursery!!) and I’ve left the house with my shirt unbuttoned from feeding him. Fortunately, I usually realize what’s going on before I get out of the car or come face to face with people!

    • I definitely had one of those ‘almost forgot to button my shirt’ moments. I had just finished breastfeeding Brady, when the UPS man rang our doorbell. I literally almost hurried to the door with my breastfeeding tank top unhooked. Thank goodness I too realized what was going on before I left the room. Yikes! Ha, ha.

  5. HA! I can’t believe no one laughed at his “amen” comment after a toot. That’s definitely funny stuff coming from a toddler! And oh my gracious, imagining you desperately drinking from his sippy cup was both pitiful and hilarious at the same time. I hope you get to feeling better soon! And you know… have some time to work on another anatomy lesson with him. 😉

  6. I would have been laughing right along with you in Walmart!! I love that Brady said Amen, haha! He is too cute!

    Also, you in line at the fish market and the anatomy lesson had me cracking up!! Also, I love that you drank from Brady’s sippy cup! Gotta do what ya gotta do!

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