Resting Isn’t So Easy

“The enemy doesn’t want you to rest.”

My pastor recently said that to me and another woman from my church, thinking out loud about a potential future sermon.  But my mind was blown by what he probably considered to be just a passing thought.  Because I’m not just a woman with a Type-A personality.  I’m a mom.  And when you combine those two features together, the concept of ‘rest’ takes mommy guilt to an entirely new level.

(Seriously, mommy guilt doesn’t need any help as it is, am I right?  When you add the Type-A personality to the mix?  It’s just cruel and unusual punishment).

In my head, I’m convinced that I always must be doing.  If I’m not doing something productive, then I’m obviously being lazy.  Or a procrastinator.  Or just a bad person in general.

*shudder*

Just the other day, I admitted to my friend Liz that I felt bad Nate was putting Brady to bed for me (since my arms were too exhausted to walk around the room holding my 30 pound toddler).  There I was, sitting on the couch, talking on the phone for a few minutes; while my husband was soothing my little guy to sleep.

#Badmom!!  

She replied with, “But you spent all day with Brady, and most of the night too.  It’s okay for Nate and Brady to bond tonight before bed.”

Again… mind blown!

I always feel as though I need to be working if any work is being done.  I need to be parenting if any parenting is being done.  I should be the one cooking, cleaning, organizing, and scheduling.

All…the…time!

But the thing is, I forget one very important thing: rest.  I need rest.  I was actually created by a Creator who designated one day a week for slowing down and recharging.  And when I try to convince myself that I’m the energizer bunny in mom form, I’m only doing myself – and those around me – a disservice.

I can’t give 100% on an empty tank anymore than I can start my day without coffee.  (Really, it just can’t happen).

I don’t want my smiles to be forced…  My snuggles and hugs to be rushed, because I feel so  exhausted and worn out…  Or my time for those who need it to be half-hearted, because I no longer have an ounce of patience left in me.

That makes me less effective.  Less victorious.  Less joyful and less purpose driven.

For me to be the best version of myself, I do need rest.  And fun.  And recharging.  And I need to realize that having some down-time should be embraced… not faced with guilt.

So I’ve been scheduling it.  And it’s working!  🙂

Most of the time, it’s an hour here or there.  Yesterday, I ran to the store and leisurely shopped at Marshall’s, while Nate watched a cartoon with Brady.  Sometimes, I’ll go out with a friend after Brady is in bed for the night.  Once in awhile, I’ll put on a great worship CD, light a candle, and paint my nails.  Other times, I’ll choose to ignore the dirty dishes, laundry, meal prep, and cleaning so that I can sit down, drink a coffee, and read a book or watch TV during Brady’s naptime.

Anything goes, as long as I can do it once or twice a week.  The only thing that’s not allowed is guilt.  No guilt allowed!  It took a few tries before I really was able to enjoy it and not focus on all the things I ‘should’ be doing instead.  But now, I embrace those just-for-me moments.

I feel like a human being afterward.  🙂  And maybe that’s because I’m doing what God had planned for me all along:  Resting!

Guys, I’m doing it!!!  I’m actually making mommy-time a priority!  Aren’t you proud of me?!?  🙂

 

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15 thoughts on “Resting Isn’t So Easy”

    1. I totally had guilt over resting before I was a mom too… I think, as a mom, I’m just now learning to find the balance (because I HAVE to). But for years, I worked myself until I was frazzled and wouldn’t give myself time to refresh.
      It’s hard sometimes to remember that it’s okay (and a good thing) to sometimes be still and not do something. The struggle is real! 🙂

  1. There’s no way you should be feeling the mom guilt!! You are totally rocking being a mom! Annnnd your red, white, and blue nails are so cute😊

  2. This! This whole post is exactly how I feel. You are so smart to schedule the time in. I need to start doing the same. Otherwise, the rest never happens and I get so burnt out.

    1. It took 18 months of motherhood for me to figure it out! 🙂 (And I struggled with rest long before I was even a mom… Although I have to say that being a mom forced me to finally learn this lesson. I was getting burnt out too and learned that I needed to make time to rest or else I’d go crazy).
      I have to say that since I’ve made resting and me-time a priority, I’ve been SO much happier!
      Let me know how it works out for you as you’re trying to schedule some rest into your life too. 🙂 It’s hard to get started, but SO worth it!

  3. I’m trying to find that balance. During Katie’s first year, I did nothing extra outside of parenting her, really, and that wasn’t good for us. Self-care should have been to push myself a bit more! Now, I’m doing more and more and need to schedule time for me!

    1. It is SO hard finding balance, because parenting is such a full-time job. I think it’s a life-long journey, for sure! I know that I’m more excited about parenting, when I’ve had some moments to breathe and refresh. But at the same time, the little guy always comes first.
      I’m so glad we don’t need to have this parenting thing perfect and that we can learn as we go!! I’m SUCH a work in progress. 🙂

  4. Good job!! I’m so glad you are taking this precious time to rest. It’s funny that I should read this right now because I literally just had a conversation with someone who was saying how emotionally exhausted they were and how much in need of rest. The enemy really doesn’t want us to rest. It makes sense. Thanks for sharing this, friend!

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