One of the oldest bits of advise you’ll hear concerning marriage is “marriage takes work.”
This made sense to me even before I was married, because let’s face it… Anything worth having usually does take work. And if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with the person you vowed to love forever, through better or for worse, there will undoubtedly be times that feel more like laundry-day than the honeymoon.
Now that I’m five years into my life as a married woman, I don’t just know this little saying is true. I’ve lived it. Because life has a way of getting just a little too busy and a little too stressful; and then the next thing you know, everything is swirling in front of you like a messy kaleidoscope. And you swing in defense at everything that moves, not taking the time to differentiate between friend or foe.
I realized this one day, when I came home from work feeling particularly sensitive, tired, and stressed. Nate said something that made me instantly go on the defense (as innocent as his statement may have been); and instead of sharing with him how emotional I felt, I snapped something in reply. And somehow, even in the midst of the situation, I realized that I had chosen a boxing match instead of a warm hug.
And honestly, I’m not even sure that professional boxers would chose a boxing match over a warm hug!
This is when the light-bulb sitting over my head blinked on. Marriage does take work, but it also takes fun. It takes time to remind each other that you’re best friends and that you’re in love. It takes time to forget about everything pulling at you and to just focus on each other. It takes time to laugh until your sides ache!
Marriage takes a time out from everything else.
This past weekend, Nate and I enjoyed a seasonal latte (holiday cups are back at Starbucks!), as we ran around picking up deodorant for him and a new hair straightener for me.
And then we stayed home for the rest of the day. We baked a pie… watched a movie… read a book.
We reminded ourselves that we’re the bestest of friends and we have each other’s backs.
We enjoyed recess from all the other stuff and just had fun. And I think that maybe — just maybe — that is just as important as putting in the work. 🙂