Home Really Is Where Your Heart Is

I’ve been going back and forth as to whether or not I was ready to share this on my blog…  I usually try to keep things pretty upbeat and if I do stray from that, it’s generally after a situation has resolved itself.  Right now, Nate and I are pretty much smack-dab in the middle of an impossible decision, and I have no idea what the end result will be.  I guess that’s one of the reasons why I have decided to blog about it.  One day, I can look back and remember the endless days of weighing pro’s and cons, and — at that point — I can see that once again God brought us through.

So here it is…

Nate and I might sell our house.

I ultimately don’t want to leave the place we’ve called home for the past three years, because I love almost everything about it.  It’s a charming Colonial located on a quiet Cul-de-sac with lovely homes and great neighbors.  It’s conveniently located just two miles from the house where I grew up and from where my parents still live.  It’s located in a country town full of trees, but yet is only five minutes from the highway that takes us into the city.

If we walk in one direction, we can walk to an icecream barn or buy an iced latte from Dunkin Donuts.  In the other direction, during the early winter months, we can walk to a farmstand and buy a Christmas tree.  It’s a little bit of city with a whole lot of country heart.

It’s home.  It felt like home the day our families and friends helped us move in.  And the tears and laughter over the years has only contributed to that.

But we don’t have much of a yard… and the yard we do have is a steep hill that has been extremely difficult for Nate to mow since the assault.  (The numbness in his leg hasn’t shown signs of improvement, and the doctor said it definitely looks as though it’s permanent).  I know that we could hire someone to mow, but it’s kind of a pride thing for Nate. Like most men, he wants to be able to take care of his own yard.

Also, the house can be afforded on one salary, but it will be tight.  And we have come to the very definite conclusion that we want to live off one salary in the future, so that we can raise our children with a stay-at-home parent.  Case closed.  (Hey, an easy decision for once!).  And we’re not sure if we want to be  crunched so financially when that time comes.

So we’ve been looking at houses in the nearby area’s, and we also met with a realtor to figure out how much our house can sell for.  Honestly, there would be a For-Sale sign in our front yard by now if Nate had his way, because — like most guys — he’s able to think much more logically during this time.  He sees dollar-signs and the possibility of a flat yard.  I just can’t bring myself to sign the papers with our realtor.  We’ve driven by 30 homes and crossed each one off the list of possibilities because they just weren’t THE one.

The neighborhood was too dingy.  The roads were too busy.  The house needed too much work.  The hill was too slanted.  I’ve come up with excuse after excuse.

It just wasn’t… home.  Not like here.

I won’t lie.  Nate and I have argued.  And discussed. And we’ve even fought, which is crazy for us because we don’t fight.  (Gosh, we’ve almost been married 5 years, and we had our first real fight the other day over the issue of a street not having a suitable sidewalk)!

But ultimately, as we decided tonight, home is where we are together… no matter where our future house may be.  I just wish I knew where that house was going to be.

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16 thoughts on “Home Really Is Where Your Heart Is”

  1. Man. What a conundrum. You’re weighing all the options and not making an impulse decision. And even though it is causing disagreements, I think it’s good that you and Nate are approaching this from opposite sides. Because when you make a final decision or find a house, it’s going to be right for both of you. You’ll meet in the middle – I get that it’s really hard to not know what street name and number that middle is though.

    Ultimately you are exactly right – home will be wherever you two are together. Best of luck with the house search. The perfect next house is out there and you’re going to find it!

    1. Thank you so much, Amy! And that’s a very good point. With Nate and I coming from different sides, it will help us weigh our options better!

  2. A lot of my friends are selling their homes right now for various reasons, and it’s definitely brought that conversation into our family discussions too, but I think we are going to stay where we are for now. This house came with a doggie door, and we just can’t part with that convenience.
    I think fights are good in a marriage, even the ones about a sidewalk. I have always equated fights with honesty – both to each other and ourselves, and a house is a really big thing to be honest about. It’s better to talk about it now instead of five years down the road after you settled on a house that he loved but you really didn’t.
    Also, the fact that you can take your time to find the right house is awesome. Moving when you don’t absolutely have to (because of a job or other event) is a great time to do it because you can take your time finding that perfect place. I hope you find it soon! And I agree, home is right where you are, together. 🙂

    1. I love House Hunters! (Except those people seem to always be ridiculously rich, don’t they? I’m not sure if it’s fun to watch… or maybe a bit annoying sometimes. LOL!).

  3. The answer is obvious to me but I’m not emotionally involved so that probably makes things easier. I’m sure the right answer will come to you and you guys will make it work! It’s definitely fortunate that you have a bit of time to figure it all out.

    Thanks for sharing with all of us! 🙂

    1. The obvious answer — to me anyway– is definitely to make our dreams come true. And our dreams definitely equal a family and a stay-at-home parent. It’s crazy how attached a person can get to a house, but people ultimately are what matter. Either that, or the obvious answer could be to buy a tent and move to Hawaii! I suggested it to Nate, but he wasn’t for it… Sigh. 😉

      1. I fully support making your dreams come true! Imagine how disappointing it would be if you stayed in the house, brought your future child(ren) home to it, then couldn’t afford it and had to move. That’d be so much harder leaving behind all those memories! Oh but if you can make the tent-in-Hawaii angle work, go for it!! 🙂

      2. That’s EXACTLY what I thought. It would be hard enough to leave our first house now, but to begin raising a child and then have to leave? SO much harder!!

  4. Oh sweet friend, I know this has to be such an emotional time for you. Even when you know that home is wherever you are together, it’s still hard to say goodbye to a place you have loved. We’ve talked about selling our house and moving elsewhere in Memphis a few times and when we do, it tugs at my heartstrings. It’s strange how a house can have that pull over you. But like you said, home will always be wherever you guys are together. And new memories will be in a new home where you guys will raise a family. And how wonderful it will be that you guys will be able to have a stay-at-home-parent able to be there with the kids every day because you made good financial decisions. 🙂

    And hey, I hear ya. In 5 years of marriage we’ve only fought a very small handful of times. We disagree sometimes, but we’re pretty good about compromise and hearing the other person out which means it seldom leads to a fight. So on the few occasions that we have fought during our marriage, I have been just as emotional about the fight itself as whatever we were arguing about. So I know how hard that is. Side note, this is not to say that we never fought before we were married. We did plenty of that for about a year of our dating relationship until we learned to communicate better. 🙂 But anyway, this is getting way away from the original point of your post. Just know that I’m here for you and support you guys in your choices!

  5. Awww, this sounds like such a tough decision for you! I am glad that you’re sharing this struggle and being REAL with your readers. That’s one of the reasons I LOVE your blog. Anyways, you made so many good points and presented Nate’s arguments well, too.

    When I get married and buy a house (hopefully… Lord willing!), I feel the same way as you as far as children. I want to be a stay at home mom because I think raising my kids is the most important job I will ever have. Ever. I don’t want to struggle to afford a house on one income… so I’m okay with buying an “okay” house that’s cheaper versus struggling with one income for a great house, you know?!

    Anyways, I think it’s pretty amazing that you guys have been married 5 years and haven’t fought much. Boo yah!! Keep us updated if you make any decisions! If you ever have any real estate questions, let me know! My dad is a real estate broker and agent, and my mom and brother are both agents… they’d be more than willing to answer and questions 😀

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